my life in texts, part 7


Can I bring something? You can say no, I’ll still bring something.

If my job ever requires reading a map I will have to go on welfare.

Your trumpet is in the office.

Go eat something with sugar in it.

Don’t worry, I’ll be nice.

You are captain of the butt dial.

He used to be a DJ, then he got an MDiv and a D.Min.

Hit a deer. I’m fine.

I believe she is throwing up.

On the S train.

My blood pressure is high. Shocker.

Purchases today: 3 bottles of wine, 4 kinds of cheese, a placemat, a Christmas tree.

One placemat?

broccoli-floretsI hate broccoli cuts. I love broccoli florets. It’s like you don’t even know me.

Nina’s room is airing out. I’ll tell you the story tomorrow.

I got to drive his Porsche.

Here comes the fever.

I don’t do extemporaneous. I do meticulous.

It’s twelve degrees. I hope you weren’t attached to my toes.

There is going to be celebratory fudge.

Define ASAP.

He’s such a mouth-breather.

Someone in this house is playing a harmonica.

I told you to pack wine.

Part six and beyond…….

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