my life in texts, part 5

shutterstock_129581561You’re still there??? This message is urgent if you need it to be.

I would but we are flea bombing the house.

Do you still have a hot glue gun?

Waiting at a toll booth behind some genius who only has Canadian money.

So Apple Care DOES cover water damage.

About 63 people asked where you were.

Got everything. Heading home. No turtle.

Don’t ever worry about me having an affair when you’re gone. I couldn’t stay up late enough.

Fun fact: my home county had the highest pig-to-people population in the state.

This may be my worst idea ever.

They added an extra $651.

The toilet is working again.

It says I’m in Spain.

Well, someone has now fallen down the basement stairs.

Apparently it is travel with your pet day.

I predict a future without Taco Bell.

Nikki says thanks for the gum.

Paranoia is understandable!

On a lighter note I’m using my voice command and it automatically knew how to spell craptastic.

Previous installments here….

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