7
Feb

my life in texts, part 10

Hi from Atlanta.
Hi from Denver.
Hi from Chicago.
Hi from Atlanta. Again.



Where the %#$@ do you hide the butter?

I can’t do a phone conference in the subway.

Part of my job is coordinating 14 people, none of whom speak English.

Please turn off the hot tub jets.

If you don’t take out the recycling¬†I will punch you in the facehole.

Do u have 19 cents?

I can make you hot chocolate as bribery.

There is not an abundance of competence in this store.

Nina – turn off the hot tub!


It’s like there’s a demon on this whole project.

One minute I’m giddy and the next I might throw up.

I found wrinkles under my eyes today. Obviously I need to stop smiling.

She is so delusional.

He is taking the meat forks.

Do you still have the hot tub jets on?

The church smells like bad Indian food.

I’m borrowing on our friendship credits.

Will you be executor of our estate if both of us die?

If saved through childbearing, then highly favored through stepmothering.

TURN OFF THE JETS RIGHT NOW PLEASE


How are you?
Bored.



(More here.)

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