a list for friday: things I wanted to ask at Tuesday’s hearing but did not

Since October Matt and I have been trying to get the kids tested to see if they have some kind of learning disability or delay, and since October the school has been telling us no: no, we won’t test them; no, we won’t meet with you to talk about it; okay, we’ll test them and no, they don’t have problems; no, we see no issues with them each doing three or four hours of homework a night and still flunking dozens of tests and quizzes and almost flunking a few classes.

Miles and Nina work hard and, amazingly for kids their age, don’t give us an attitude about it. They are great kids who don’t cause the teachers any problems and get mostly Cs (after we re-teach them everything after school). But for working as hard as they do, and for scoring on the range of average to advanced across a variety of metrics, they should be experiencing more successes and far fewer failures than they are. We also had them tested by an objective clinical psychologist who confirmed Nina definitely has ADHD. So we’ve been their advocate, and this week that meant going to “court” so that a hearing officer could decide once and for all if the kids could have such earth-shattering, unreasonable accommodations as—wait for it—tutoring during study hall and a communication log with the teachers.

We’re really, really hoping that this time, we don’t get a no.

How many of you have helped Miles with his math, or worked with Nina on an English project? Wouldn’t actually doing schoolwork with them be a more accurate way to assess their learning issues? What night would you like to come do that?

And what controlled substances do you want available to take the edge off of this experience?

How can you look at me with a straight face and tell me that because these kids did well on your 20-minute standardized test, it’s not relevant that they got lots of 50- and 60-percents on real tests during the last school year?

Would you like me to point out the typos in your school psychologist’s evaluation?

Do you realize you just spent $15,000 to avoid giving us accommodations that would have cost you $150?

When do you plan to change your school slogan and take down the “We aim for excellence!” banner in the auditorium?

Isn’t it true you’re doing the least amount possible for us because you’re afraid all the other parents will also want “special treatment” for their children, as if any of those other parents had the stamina or BS tolerance to go through this process with you?

Since you won’t help the kids because they get Cs and Ds, why shouldn’t my husband and I stop homeschooling them every afternoon to supplement the education you’re providing and just let them fail, so that our case will finally be taken seriously? Would it help if we had them throw chairs and become behavioral problems? (Okay, that one I may have asked.)

Wouldn’t you do exactly what we’re doing if this was your kid?

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