Lent started this week, and as usual a bunch of people are giving up Facebook. That’s fine, and I hope it leads them to a spiritual mountain top. But if you’re still on the site, how about making things better for the rest of us by just giving up these activities?
…..trying to guilt others into reposting something stupid (and often full of grammar errors), with phrases like “Let’s see who my real friends are….My real friends will repost this…I bet you won’t repost this….I’ll be watching you to see if you repost this.” Bonus points if you can inappropriately bring Jesus into it.
…..intentionally inciting political debates, because Facebook is so the ideal forum for thoughtful dialogue.
…..regularly posting long diatribes about why you’re leaving Facebook, then returning two weeks later.
…..asking others to play Panda Jam, Dragon City or Candy Crush Saga.
…..liking your own status updates. We assume you like it.
…..linking to long, unsubstantiated rumors about Facebook privacy settings, free heart transplants for people whose pictures are shared 500 times, or Tide detergent that contains anthrax.
…..misguidedly supporting breast cancer research by coyly posting your bra color.
…..liking negative or sad posts.
…..adding hearts after everything. I say you get one heart per day. Use it wisely.
…..posting a picture of yourself making the duck face.
…..posting stuf like thissssss tbh its lame also puntuation n speling an Caps do still M@ter u no?
…..ever choosing “It’s Complicated” as your relationship status.