Watch a soap opera.
Stop eating carbs.
Appear in a local TV commercial.
Listen to Joel Osteen without rolling my eyes.
Revision: Listen to Joel Osteen.
Catch up on my email.
Run for office.
Get tired of talking to four-year-olds.
Dress up as a clown.
Eat blood sausage.
Voluntarily watch NASCAR.
Own a rat.
Say I love anything “to death.”
Shave my head.
Write “lol” after every any sentence on Facebook.
My child’s science fair project.
Host the Academy Awards.
Watch a slasher movie.
Knowingly answer a rhetorical question.
Cut anyone’s hair.
Live in Minnesota.