repost: why vs. how

If you’re stuck, consider asking “how” instead of “why.”

I’ve realized most of the questions keeping me up at night start with why: Why did she say that? Why does he feel that way? Why didn’t that client call back? Why hasn’t this relationship worked out? And why does it bother me so much? (That’s an especially fun one, as it blends “I shouldn’t feel the way I do” WITH the unpleasant question. Not recommended for beginners.)

Why questions about ourselves can be helpful—it’s good to consider our own issues and the way we contribute to problems. But why questions about other people are usually unanswerable–in the moment, …


opinions expressed by the 62-year-old Italian couple behind me on American flight 4657

–This flight is already ten minutes late.

–It’s not tornado season. That’s October. It’s like the hurricanes.

–Probiotics! I’m saying, they just make you so itchy.

–We should have taken off twenty¬†minutes ago!

–I brought my own water. You can’t trust the water on these planes.

–You want to always get a flu shot. You don’t get a flu shot, you’re gonna cry.

–Solitaire is better with the sound turned way up. You need to hear the cards clicking.

–Are you KIDDING ME? They haven’t even closed the plane’s door yet.

–These bags of pretzels couldn’t get any smaller.

–Someone’s going to figure out his death was a set-up for life insurance. Sure they will. We¬†figured it out.

–There’s no place to eat in Atlantic City. I mean, there’s that one place, …

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